Saturday, August 31, 2002

NO <3 for GARBO AT ALL >:{!!!!

Sunday, August 25, 2002
Friday, I didn't update because I was fairly depressed.
I almost got myself killed while driving home from Melissa's house, looking to the right, seeing the car far off, looking to the left, saw a car coming, so I decided to wait for the car on the left to pass.
Then I instinctively drove out, and saw the car on the right coming at me. I accelerated a bit, so I made it safely, though I was in a tiny bit of shock.

Then I got home, got yelled at by my dad. I left the bin outside. He wanted me to do it right now.
So I did. Then I came upstairs, and he started yelling at me again, giving me a lecture. All that crap about how I'm so pathetic and that I'm not gonna turn out right, why his only son was like this. And I admit it, I was wrong. I only wanted to pull in the bin tomorrow before I go to work, because I know that I usually open the garage door, and everything would have been more convenient for me, had I done it tomorrow. There would've been no sacrifices made.
He couldn't accept it. Fine. I was wrong. I know, how pathetic I am. He says "Do you know how much it hurts me everytime I ask you to do something and you wait till you can't wait anymore?" And I say "What difference does it make, as long as the end result is the job getting done?"
Though he can't accept it, fine, I was wrong. I admit it, and I'm sorry. I feel bad, and I'll change, but whether they're gonna leave me alone, or persistently bug me along the way, that will ultimately decide the result.

Then I get an email from my friend, in my accounting tute group, saying that "its unfair for [me and Joel] to never turn up for the tute meetings, so [me and Joel] have to do a separate assignment".
It was a misunderstanding. I attended the first meeting, I was late by 5 minutes, literally, for the second one, but they had already finished. And the final meeting, I had a dentist appointment, which I informed Joel about, but he never informed them, and told me that Sheryl (friend), couldn't make it. GJ @ you buddy.
Fucked everything up real bad, this stupid misunderstanding.

And the night before, I got in trouble with Melissa because Village wouldn't accept my application form one day late. GJ@ me for not knowing the due date -_-.

Had to work yesterday, and I believe I am officially out of a job.
Boss found out that I was looking for another job, and he asked me if it was fair for him to begin looking for a replacement..and ofcourse I had to say "yes" -_-

Then I got told that when the replacement was found, I have to be gone, so...yeah.

Also, got really fucking pissed off before church today.
Was driving, then I drove halfway onto the street, believing that the bridge in the middle allowed me to wait on it, while the car on the left was about to drive past.

Well, I wasn't mean to do that, so all is well and good.

Seeing as how I can see about 100 metres of road to the right of me, and no cars whatsoever were in sight, there shouldve been no reason to panic.

Except, my dad felt that my "mistake" required some shouting, and my mum backed up him. Eventually I was forced to say "Geez, you guys dont have to shout at me"

Apparently, that was considered arguing. And there is no way in hell I'm allowed to argue with MY parents. Then "why do you have to argue, jsut accept that you're wrong"
then my dads liek "wtf, we weren't shouting at you, we were teaching you, and you shouldn't argue, just accept it"

then my mum goes "You have such a bad temper, you should really learn to control it, even if we did yell at you, it was just because we panicked because you did something wrong".

K. Wat the fuck is that. "I" should learn to control my temper. Yet they were the ones to panic and start shouting, when we were in no danger watsoever.

I don't get that. He's a damn hypocrite, anger is a human emotion, as well is panic. Why is it that people MUST learn to control their anger, but people can panic whenever they want?


Seriously, one of these days I'm gonna fucking crack it. And they're gonna say, fine you go away, u wrong, u fuck off.

I just don't understand how everyone can tolerate my dad like he's always right. I don't always admit taht I'm wrong, when I'm wrong, though after a bit of convincing, I do admit it. Sometimes, I even admit that I was wrong, without any convincing required.
But he, does not, EVER, under any circumstances, admit that he's wrong.


I'm supposed to respect my father. I respected him, until the point that I realised, he was never ever gonna accept anyone's opinion other than his own.
And him, getting frustrated that I no longer respect him, he tries to rationalise with me by telling the story of his past. Again.

How about, trying to talk with me, calmly. Though I KNOW it's never going to happen.